TRUE LEADERSHIP IS ABOUT DUTY AND HONOUR

On my path to becoming better, I’m doing Stanford LEAD classes with my friend. Today we watched a video by professor William P. Barnett. Some of the things he said really got to me. 

Turns out despite what I see around me, leadership is not about being privileged and elevated above others, but it is about performing a duty with honour. Leadership is about living up to the trust people put in you. So far I have met two or three true leaders. They believe in what they do, they support the people who work with and for them, they give their mission all their work and free time. But what about the rest? They have families, mortgages, other worries - for them work in a leadership position is an opportunity to secure a well-paying long-term position and to reduce their own workload by delegating it. True leadership cannot be a follow-instruction-behaviour, it has to be driven truly from within.

Another trait of a real leader is her ability to develop herself and create the conditions for others to develop. So far I’ve been fixating on me, me, me and the damage control I need to do without even questioning how I can contribute to the life of others.

Last but not least he talked about developmental mindset vs. judgemental. With a developmental mindset you do not look for somebody to blame, not even yourself, you put yourself in control of a situation and treat it as an opportunity every time.

I’m planning to do the exercise he recommended. I need to set my developmental goals and check on my progress in 6 months. What do I want to change in me to contribute:

• Myself
• Others
• And environment around.

FEAR OF LOOKING STUPID

In primary school when a teacher would ask us a question, I would never raise my hand to answer it. Even though nine times out of ten I was right. But I only found out I was right when someone else answered it and the teacher announced whether it's right or wrong.

Why didn't I ever try? I was TERRIFIED of looking stupid.

It continued like that for years till I moved schools and got a chance to build my new self-confident identity. But even then deep inside I was still afraid to make a fool out of me.

I thought that by now, twenty years later I'm perfectly happy with who I am, I'm not afraid to put myself out there, to speak my mind. But suddenly today I realized that my attachment to certain routines, habits, processes, and my desire to make other people accept and follow them has from the same root: I unconsciously feel that there is so much I don't know in the world, that I'm desperately clinging on and hiding behind my old habits.

THE VALUE OF CHANCE

There were a few chances given to me that changed my life. I worked hard on my trajectory before they came along. But when they did it was just a small push given by a thoughtful person that tipped over the whole thing and made it huge.

• A governmental advisor who I knew very briefly presented my case to the head of the Republic and I received a grant to go to G20 in Paris as a part of the Russian Delegation.
• My mom's colleague approved a study grant for my first exchange semester in Norway that marked my moving abroad.
• A person I don't know donated a scholarship for my exchange semester in Canada where I discovered how big the world really is and how much I want to embrace it.
• The Committee of APECS trusted that my research was important to be presented on the main Arctic conference and gave me the grant to attend it.
• A few representatives of Shell met me at this conference and offered me to come for an internship at  Shell in the Hague. 
• One of them was persistent enough to fight with HR and immigration for nine months to get me in for two. But that really became a start of my life and career abroad.
• A person who's role let him hire external professionals gave me a chance to apply and develop my skills and grow my business and confidence.

In all these life-changing events I also played a part and worked sometimes harder than I could. But there was always a secret ingredient - a person who cared... Who cared to do good. My first and dear mentor told me that every day he tries to do something to change somebody's life for the better. 

For a long time, it has been my aspiration to be more like the people I respect and admire for the chance they've given me. It is magical to see how one "yes", one connection, one text to somebody can ripple in a wonderful way over the life of another person. 

In a search of "new business opportunities" I forgot what was really my passion. But I still remember what it's like to sit in a small room in a northern Russian town in the middle of nowhere and hope that somebody out there in a bigger far away world would say "yes" to my application. And now that I am on the other side of this equation, I want to help and to fulfil this aspiration every day.